Failure IS an option
В продолжении темы предыдущей записи, где я приводил вырезку из подборки всех межкомандных диалогов во второй части Baldur's Gate, я все-таки сделал аналогичную вырезку, на сей раз посвященную одному из самых широко известных попутчиков Дитя Баала - красному волшебнику Эдвину Одессейрону. Этот персонаж обладает очаровательным багажом комплексов, набором амбиций "классического злого колдуна", занимательным акцентом и привычкой разговаривать с самим собой вслух, не обращая внимания на остальную команду - разумеется он полюбился многим игрокам. Особенно если учесть его специфическую "удачу", благодаря которой он оказался в весьма гротескном положении... очень неловкая ситуация для всякого начинающего "темного властелина".
Увы, как и ранее, бэтирование в отношении подборки было проведено весьма поверхностное.
Собственно, сама подборка.Aerie
Aerie
Aerie: Why do you talk to yourself Edwin?
Edwin: What? Oh, why, hello Aerie. I, ah... don’t do anything of the... (No, now is not the time to make arguments). Why are you asking?
Aerie: I - I was just wondering when I get to meet him.
Edwin: (There’s no one to meet). There’s no one to meet. Get away from me! You’ll make me crazy, you will, and I’ll not have two pieces of it!!
Edwin: Aerie, I’ve noticed, the unfortunate fact that you live by one of the great lessons of history that nothing is often a good thing to do and a clever thing to say.
Aerie: What? Where did that emerge from, spellbinder? What have I done to you?
Edwin: Ruffle your feathers? Just clipping your wings to make sure you remain obsequious to your vastly superiors, my little chickadee.
*after turning into Edwina*
Edwin: Psst ... Aerie ...
Aerie: Edwin! You scared me, imagine that ... oh, you wouldn’t believe me how silly you look ... Now what - now what do you want?
Edwin: You are a wizard and a healer! Can you not peel this wretched skin? (She has driven me to it, I will debase myself if I must.) Please, Aerie, I am ... on my knees!
Aerie: Tee-hee! No you’re not, you’re standing just like the rest of us! ...And, honestly, what is there to heal? Next time ... you’ll be more careful how you word your wishes, won’t you?
Edwin: Blasted Netherese sense of humor! No doubt this is why they all went extinct so long ago! Shut up! Shut up, I say!
* TOB *
Aerie: I ... I come to see why you are so arrogant, Edwin. Magical power can become ... intoxicating. Even I can admit to feeling its rush when I am casting spells in combat.
Edwin: Hhmp! You know nothing of power, child. You possess the merest morsel of worth when compared to me.
Aerie: Do you think so? Isn’t that a foolish attitude? Even you must agree that the strength of your friends can only be a benefit.
Edwin: I agree to nothing.
Aerie: Yours dismissals make no sense! Have I not become a peer? Have I not proven my worth?
Edwin: Child, your insights into my character are misguided. My ‘arrogance’ comes not from my skill, but from the knowledge that I am simply better than you.
Aerie: You are just ... oh!
Edwin: Yes, and I always will be. Now, if you require the occasional pat on the head I shall oblige, but you would do better to seek kinship with someone else.
Anomen
Anomen
*after turning into Edwina*
Anomen: Hay, Edwina! I shall be your champion at the next tournament that we come to if only you give me a piece of your robe, uh, that is, dress to adorn my shield.
Edwin: (My condition draws fools like flies to honey) Silence, you idiot! You’ve a death wish that is larger than your swollen head.
Anomen: Fair Edwina, I am truly bereft by your non-acceptance. It is tragic when a knight has no fair maiden to moon over. He he he ..
Edwin: Anomen, I’ve been intending to ask. This most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart of which you belong ... why is it that you lead the converted like lambs to the slaughter? On ramparts across the Faerun are heads on pikes of the radiant who’ve been eulogized to the myth and allure of your vaunted brotherhood.
Anomen: ‘Tis very unwise to meddle in the cornerstone of civilized life in the Faerun. The brotherhood has brought peace to tumult, so that good might prevail over the darkness.
Edwin: Tell it to the pilgrims at the temple, Anomen; it might inspire the idiots. The heart has been responsible for some of the most heinous crimes against humanity. Their intolerance against those who are not of a ‘civilized’ species is racism at its worst.
Anomen: You’d best watch your tongue, spellfiddler, as your deliverance from this squalid plane may be at the point of a sword.
* TOB *
Anomen: Know that I watch you with unwavering eyes, Edwin. I have seen your looks askance and I will have none of your treachery.
Edwin: I care nothing for what you will have, fool, no matter how you guild your words. Be thankful for my scrutiny. Very few rivals outside of the Red Wizards are worthy of it.
Anomen: I am nothing like you and your ilk! Now cease your prattle and walk on!
Edwin: Yes, nothing like us at all. And certainly not growing more so every day. Hmmm ...
Cernd
Cernd
Edwin: Tell me about your ecstatic religion, shaman. Why do you harvest mistletoe and bear witness to mother earth’s bounty?
Cernd: It began as a craving for connection, Edwin. The Earth and her cousins, the Sky and the Water, all spoke in tongues of ancient mystery and lore. It was my calling to unravel worlds within a single seed or read the chronicles of seasons in the veins of a leaf. She called, and I answered.
*after turning into Edwina*
Cernd: Are the flowers not beautiful this time of year? Perhaps a little late in the blooming, but still ...
Edwin: What!? What are you getting at!? I know you are talking about me, so speak it plain!
Cernd: Perhaps your new form has made you more sensitive, though not in a way I call improvement. I meant nothing. It is my wont to talk of nature and gifts.
Edwin: Very well. I will let your comment pass and ...
Cernd: I mean, if I say how the great cycle fells the mighty oak, yielding to the furrows and valleys of a more subtle landscape, is it my fault if you take more offence?
Edwin: I see, I see. I shall let the slight pass and ...
Cernd: And if I say that the great stag casts aside its wondrous mantle as the long winter approaches, should it be my concern if you draw any comparisons to your ...
Edwin: Yes, yes, yes, now will you please cease your prattle!
Cernd: Poor Edwin. When nature casts aside an appendage, she is confident it will return in the proper season. My heart weeps for your insecurities. Weep, weep.
Edwin: (I wonder what his nature would say about the cleansing power of fire. I wonder.)
Edwin: Why do you stare so, Cernd? No doubt you are to laugh at my predicament, so get it over with!
Cernd: Why does the king protest? His forests are pilfered, leaving just hills and scrub, but what loss is it? How can it be of value when it was never put to use?
Edwin: (There is an insult in there somewhere, I am certain. Would that I could stop time and kill them ALL first.)
* TOB *
Edwin: Eh, so, Cernd, as a champion of the natural elements of this world, you must also have knowledge of what is ... unnatural?
Cernd: To some extent, I must. To know the enemy is to better know how to defeat them.
Edwin: Of course, of course. A man of your standing has seen much in his career; confronted many a beast, foiled many a plot ... encountered many a tome.
Cernd: Why, Edwin? Not content with the modern dischord you sow? Do you seek tutelage from the evils of old?
Edwin: My interest is purely sociable, certainly. Just banter betwin friends. Casual interest.
Cernd: Eh ...
Edwin: Have you kept records?
Cernd: Ah, no. Enough, Edwin. You hide your intent no better than your basic nature. I have no secrets for you, or anyone like you.
Edwin: (Monkeys, unworthy little monkeys ... all of them.)
Haer'Dalis
Haer'Dalis
Edwin: Bard, my considered and correct opinion of actors is this - you are irresponsible, irrational and incapable of adult emotion without first reducing it to some banal personal, material, or sexual credo. I can only make it my faintest hope that this definition doesn’t include you, as well.
HaerDalis’: As an actor, it is important to be able to express and convey emotion, not be emotional. As for your inastute observation, a critic is a legless man who teaches running to the fleet of foot.
Edwin: At least I don’t find it necessary to have others write my life for me or have its mundane plot plagarized from common sources.
HaerDalis’: No, but you do seem to require my validation by spouting a random insult where none was deserved. Dwell on that while we fade.
HaerDalis’: My red-cloaked sparrow-hawk, I could barely catch my sleep last night with all your arcane muttering.
Edwin: (Ah, already we have the fool convinced that you are muttering!)
HaerDalis’: Aye, I could write a play and you would be my entire cast and extras ...
*While Edwin is temporarily a woman*
HaerDaelis’: I once knew a Red Wizard of Thay
who dreamed of lichdom someday.
He said he knew how to do it
But he still managed to screw it
up in the funniest way.
Edwin: (Thank the gods he is not a better poet. This is one tale we would rather not see in immortalized print!)
*TOB*
HaerDalis’: Edwin! You continue to be the most dour of companions. I worry for your humor.
Edwin: You shall see a great improvement in my disposition when I have left this petty business behind.
HaerDalis’: Ah, great and future plans, but is not tomorrow uncertain? Could not the end of all occur just as likely today as in a millenia?
Edwin: You assume my death to be inevitable, but perhaps I think beyond those terms. Mortality seems escapable by others, so why not me?
HaerDalis’: Edwin, do you remember the name of the ancient Netheril god of the sea?
Edwin: Eh ... no.
HaerDalis’: Everything ends, Edwin. Everything dies. The dust of a god looks much the same as yours and mine will.
Edwin: For a bard, I doubt you are much fun at parties.
Imoen
Imoen
*TOB*
Imoen: You look a little down, Edwin. You’re not upset, are you?
Edwin: My mood is no concern of yours, child.
Imoen: You’ve become less blustery, I think. Maybe ... maybe you’re mad everyone else is finding destinies and prophesies and generally surpassing you in every way?
Edwin: You go too far, girl! I hold none of you above me!
Imoen: I mean, even me, little frail Imoen is a big scary Child of Bhaal now! That’s got to be frustrating.
Edwin: Now that is just nonsense! All of it!
Imoen: Hey Edwin! Boo!!
Edwin: WHA! What ... is it .. NOW!
Imoen: He flinched! The big bad mage flinched! HAHA! Oooh, look I’m Bhaal, I’m big and scary, ooohh.
Edwin: Now that was just ... you are just being ...
Imoen: Oooooh, don’t worry, the big bad Imoen won’t scare you no more. Heeheeheee, ‘boo’ I says, and he jumped out of his skin ... (snicker)
Edwin: (grumble) ... whelp ... child ... monkey-brained ... how would you like your flaming death you ... grrrr ...
Jaheira
Jaheira
Edwin: Tell me, Jaheira, how does it feel to have ties with a ruthless secret society whose stranglehold over its members’ conduct borders on endentured slavery.
Jaheira: Edwin, an oak staff can cave a skull from only inches away.
Edwin: Overflowing with agendas and cloaked in conspiracy. The Harper corridors clot with the blood of those who dared raise opposition to their oppressive regime. But I will speak no more out of respect for your ... what was it again? Ah, yes, your little stick.
(While Edwin is a woman)
Jaheira: What is the matter, Edwin? You look as though you chafe within your very skin. Oh wait. That is because you ARE chafing within your very skin. How thoughtless of me to remind you.
Edwin: I will not suffer your taunts, woman! You know well I despise this form!
Jaheira: That I do, pretty, pretty Edwin. That I do.
(While he’s still a woman)
Jaheira: There is harmony in nature, and all things are balanced in the end. Perhaps, Edwin, you are now as you should be.
Edwin: And you would suggest this based upon what?! As a CONSTANTLY pontificating servant of nature you must know my transformation was unnatural!
Jaheira: Perhaps, though you never did strike me as particularly manly. Perhaps nature has just been slow in this regard.
Edwin: I see. So, by your logic you shall be changing into a large male wildebeast any day now? Or have I misunderstood?
Jaheira: Save your amateurish insults for one who will be offended. Your opinions mean nothing to me.
Jaheira: Stand away from me, Edwin. It would be unfortunate if you were to disappear under a rock somewhere. Though that might be more akin to your natural state.
Edwin: Aye, you can mock me whist we are in the very heart of your domain, druid, but do not push me very far. Even here I am more than capable of ending your life.
Jaheira: Perhaps, though I doubt you would find the trip back to the cities a peaceful one.
Edwin: Without your nagging it would be as the sleep of ages.
Keldorn
Keldorn
Edwin: So Keldorn, as the disciple of a crooked deity, do you find solace in the same secret histories, books of lies and subversions that the rest of the miserable sheep in your horde do?
Keldorn: Wizard, you’ve only a brief respite before I put your head in a bag and your body in the ground!
Edwin: Let cooler heads prevail, Keldorn, I was only baiting hooks.
Keldorn: Judgement will be swift and pure upon thee, Edwin. Your manner says that the cruel are weak, and that kindness is to be expected only from the strong and just.
Edwin: Whatever lets you sleep, paladin. (I’ll dine on your eyes, cloistered coward ... soon.)
Edwin: Back away, ye obsequious fool.
Keldorn: What is the concern, wizard? I have done nothing to aggravate you.
Edwin: I shall not wait for you to stab me with your righteous daggers, knight! I have no wish to suffer your poison! (Insolent and dirty, insolent and dirty.)
Keldorn: Whatever poison there be here is in your head, Edwin! By the gods I should club you to put you out of your misery!
Edwin: I’ll show ye some misery, knight!
Korgan
Korgan
Edwin: So tell me, Korgan, what do you think of character and adversity? It seems to me that this party is long on squawk and short on character.
Korgan: The harder yer conflict, the more glorious be yer triumph, I reckon, spellchucker. What ye obtain too cheaply, ye esteem too lightly.
Edwin: How true, how true. As a gallant warrior-born, I correctly assumed you to be a student of warfare and a master of battle.
Korgan: Aye. The best battler is he who can smile in troubles deep, gather his strength from distress and grow brave in reflection.
Edwin: Dwarf, you speak the truth. A warrior without peer, like you, must be an affront to nature. The strongest in the most peril ... strange how Fate weaves her tapestry.
Korgan: Survival of the fittest be the term, and that be the puzzle of Life. The life of adventurers. Now shut yer yap.
Korgan: Ye know, Bag of Tricks, ye and I are nay so different. Ye fetch awe with eye of newt and tongue of salamander. I with battleaxe and bloodlust.
Edwin: A rather bold conjecture don’t you think, Korgan?
Korgan: Nay, not so bold. The rest of these backpeddlers ‘aven’t a clue. Ye and I, we know the longlimb’s capacity fer the horrible and the severe, eh friend? We know.
Edwin: You’re an odd little fellow, Korgan. I’m not sure what to make of you and your chagrins.
*TOB*
Korgan: It’s been a grand fight, eh mage? Can you better cap a life betwin the toes and the flames of hell itself! Ha!
Edwin: Would someone get this bile-soaked freak away from me?
Korgan: What? No stomach for the cleavings of me axe?
Edwin: I do not fault the need for frontline offense, but I fail to see why you find it necessary to stink a blade to your elbows.
Korgan: Bah! Mages! Ye’ll blast away from yer mothers’ windows but catch yer scatter-willys at the thought of blood. It’s called follow-through! Feh!
Mazzy
Mazzy
Edwin: Mazzy, your beauty and exuberance are a sheer delightful waste. I enjoy you in your own right. For someone so short, you are quite a delightfully comely lass.
Nalia: Damning me with faint praise, Edwin? I’m flattered that the man who taught Elminster magic and Drizzt how to fight would stoop so low as to notice little old me.
Edwin: I do stoop to conquer, and lay down to indulge. My bedroll always has extra room, Mazzy. Too much of a decadent thing is wonderful.
Mazzy: And so it shall always be vacant, wizard. When science finally locates the center of the planes, I’m sure you’ll be taken aback to find that you’re not it.
Mazzy: Listen carefully, mage. I have noticed you launch your spells in battle without first making sure one of us is not in the way. If you hurt anyone, I will kill you. Is that clear enough?
Edwin: (No doubt my kneecaps are in some danger). Halfling, here you stand still living thanks to the use of my magic. Question me not.
Mazzy: I shall never need that kind of assistance in a battle. You threaten us as much as our enemies with your carelessness. Your recklessness will not be tolerated. You have been warned, Edwin. Do not think to test my resolve, I will act for the good of the group.
Edwin: Quite a mouthful for one of a servant race. I understand your warning and take it for what it’s worth. Begone!
Minsc
Minsc
(While Edwin is a woman)
Minsc: Boo does not understand. It is not as though the scoundrel will be missed, but where has Edwin gone and who is this woman who wears his clothes?
Edwin: I will not be scrutinized for the sake of your rodent! Mind your own concerns, you stone-headed oaf!
Minsc: Such a temperament! Fire in her belly and not afraid to spit in the eye! It reminds me of the fighting women of my homeland! Ah sweet lady, you bring me tears.
Edwin: Tears indeed! Stand away lest I bring you a fireball as well! (Such suffering I must endure! The pain behind my eyes does grow steadily!)
(Still a woman)
Edwin: What!? Why do you stare at me so, barbarian!?
Minsc: You bear handsome features, though they are familiar, too. Edwin’s sister perhaps? Aye, Boo sees the resemblance? You are his superior in your manner though.
Edwin: I AM Edwin you fool! Can you not comprehend this!?
Minsc: I don’t do well with the philosophical. You are Edwin? Ah, like Minsc is Boo and Boo is Minsc because we carry each other within. Do you like hamsters? Boo likes you.
Edwin: If you do not wish to be the proud owner of a very small rug you will get that hamster away from me.
Minsc: I see more and more of Edwin in your tone, though you are still better than he. Boo will forgive you, for now.
Edwin: (I will kill ALL of them. Slowly. With ... with HOT pokey things and ... and coals and ... and prods. Yessss, prods. Many, many prods.)
Minsc: I think she warms to our company, Boo. See how she looks longingly?
Edwin: The price of flesh is obsession, Minsc. I’ve been obsessed, smitten, bewitched and taken by many things, but the only rodent in my pants doesn’t squeak when I touch it.
Minsc: Your words are strange. Stranger still are the thoughts behind them. Stand back. Boo has expressed a dislike for your company, and I can’t say I am surprised.
Edwin: The rodent speaks to you? Verily I’ve a rat in my trousers that speaks a particular dialect as well, usually involving transactions of coin and copious volumes of wine. You are truly a gift of the ages, Minsc.
Minsc: Your words baffle, though I am certain some insult has taken place. Keep your distance from this one, Boo, he is definitely unstable.
Edwin: Is the hamster speaking to you know, Minsc? Are his thoughts entertaining?
Minsc: I am quite used to people mocking Boo. It no longer bothers either of us. Laugh if you will, but Minsc hears what you cannot.
Edwin: You wield a formidable blade indeed, warrior. Tell me, Minsc, what is the opposite of a lesson?
Minsc: Opposite of lesson ... less one ... more on! The opposite of less on is more on! More on? Do you dare to insults me again?
Edwin: Minsc, what breed of rat is Boo? A sea faring wharf rat? The fruit-eating country vole? The sewer-dwelling city weasel?
Minsc: The Red Wizard risks great harm. Boo is patient, but this grows tiring. Keep pressuring and may not just go for the eyes!
Edwin: You threaten with your vaunted combat prowess? The same esteemed skill that failed miserably to protect Dynaheir from harm’s clutches?
Minsc: You pick at old wounds, wizard! Continue to pick and I shall make you some fresh ones!
Edwin: She was a timeworn and weatherbeaten barwhore, Minsc. The lowest class of spent working girl rubbish.
Minsc: You are one step away from wearing your lips as a collar, wizard! Withdraw your foolish words!
Edwin: Not likely, cretin. I observe, not change, the nature of people or their beasts.
Minsc: Then you shall pay the price for your ‘observations’! Those that speak ill of the dead shall join them! May you spend eternity with Dynaheir’s foot in your loins!
Nalia
Nalia
Edwin: Nalia, you are aware that adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which otherwise would have lain dormant? What are yours, pampered one? Those talents lay abundantly inconspicuous ...
Nalia: Edwin, I was not pampered, cajoled, or spoiled! I wanted for little, but yearned for than wandering about estates. Is it not true that you are of noble birthright yourself? Calling the kettle Red, Wizard? But that sort of comment coming from is not any surprise, he would rather live on his knees than die on his feet.
Edwin: Ha ha ha ... I see the soft spitfire has a streak of wild child running through her. Keep living in your sanctified ignorance, Nalia, it is part of your charm.
Nalia: Nothing is more dangerous in this world to me, Edwin, than your stupidity.
(While Edwin is a woman)
Nalia: An interesting little situation you have found yourself in, Edwin. I trust you will use it to better learn how others think and feel?
Edwin: No, my dear little wench, I will spend no more time in this body than I must. You think me a fool?
Nalia: But you could do so much more. How can you throw away this opportunity to walk a mile in another’s shoes? I would love such an ...
Edwin: Would you now? I would wish it on you if I could, but you do not mean what you say. You could do as such now, but you do not. Shed your wealth and harvest the fields. You walk no more in the shoes of those you pity than I would, and I pity everyone. The only shoes I wish are my own!
Nalia: But I just thought ...
Edwin: You thought I would desire to know the thoughts of others, but you were wrong. I have no such desire. Whatever the rest you think is irrelevant. My own thoughts, my own shoes, my own BODY! These are all that matter!
(While Edwin is still a woman)
Nalia: Edwin, you should learn to walk a little more dignified; carry yourself in a better manner.
Edwin: And exactly WHAT is wrong with my ‘manner’?
Nalia: You, well ... the way you walk about some might think you were ... of little moral fiber. You should present a more wholesome image if you are to remain like this.
Edwin: I will not remain like this! I will not ‘present a more wholesome image’, nor will I acknowledge this form in any way! I will not be this way for long!
Nalia: Very well then, but if we get too close to the docks you might find the less upstanding members of society getting more ... familiar than you would like. As well, I would suggest that you treat the party with civility, lest someone arrange for such an occurrence to happen. Perhaps nearer the zoo.
Edwin: (When the time comes, I must kill her first. Slowly, but first.)
Sarevok
Sarevok
*TOB*
Sarevok: What is it, mage? You spare no opportunity to examine me and I would know why.
Edwin: I do not like walking with the enemy. I can barely stand keeping my allies so close, and yet here I am consorting with you.
Sarevok: Ah, so you are the great loner, ready to assault the world on your own. Foolish.
Edwin: Is it? You were no more content as a lowly member of the team than I.
Sarevok: I rose to power by choosing who I followed carefully and surrounding myself with beings of power. My tactic has not changed, and will be fruitful in the end.
Edwin: Well, I suppose I should be grateful for being included. I look forward to being a part of your next defeat.
Sarevok: You remind me of a younger me, mage, before I was slaughtered and sent to the pits of hell. Think on that before you burn your bridges.
Valygar
Valygar
Edwin: Valygar, you are aware that silence is the virtue of fools.
Valygar: Aim your words elsewhere, mage; I don’t know why you’ve targeted me, but I won’t take your bait today.
Edwin: As blushing may sometimes make a harlot seem a virtuous woman, so might refusal make an idiot seem a man of sense.
Valygar: It is as I have always thought; I can neither appreciate nor understand the mind of a mage, especially one so fond of his own voice.
Edwin: Your ignorance seems voluntary, woodwalker. Conversation is not the only vehicle of thought, it is a tremendous and efficient instrument in thinking.
Valygar: Then what’s your excuse for the steady stream of mindless pollution you call talking, Edwin?
Valygar: You remind me more and more as each day passes of what makes magic vile and evil, wizard.
Edwin: You would do well to be reminded of what makes magic powerful, fool. I’ve power enough to hold your life in my hands if I choose.
Valygar: Your words do not frighten me, Edwin. I could slice you to ribbons before the first incantation of your threat was carried out.
Edwin: Indeed? Your lack of fear for the arcane arts must explain, then, why you cowered before Lavok and the Cowled Wizards.
Valgyar: I cower before nothing! I merely showed caution before approaching Lavok ... someone possessing far more power than you!
Edwin: You call that caution? Quivering in a forest? Lavok could have dealt with you in a second, if he chose. And it would only take me a second longer.
Valygar: We shall see!
*TOB*
Valygar: What is that in your gaze, Edwin? You have something to say?
Edwin: It is nothing. I was just musing on the role of heritage in determining vocation.
Valygar: I see. It is your assumption that since my family tree has had many mages, I should have been one as well. Well, I defy that logic each and every day.
Edwin: And you certainly make a fine whatever-you-are, but it is a shame. Even your casual movements suggest some training as a child ...
Valygar: I am no mage! You ... you are mistaken in your observations.
Edwin: Yes. Yes, of course I am.
Viconia
Viconia
Viconia: Dark alleyways whisper rumors of the prowess of Thayvian men, Edwin. Would this kind of vulgar tongue-wagging be claptrap or truth.
Edwin: This Thayvian male is as red-blooded as his cloak, Viconia. And has left many a concubine gasping under my erotic onslaught.
Edwin: I’ve been spying you from afar, Viconia, and your frankness, bearing, and grace have beguiled me quite profoundly.
Viconia: I’m certain there is a condition to your appraisal, Edwin. A Thayvian only has one person in their world: themselves.
Edwin: Hush, dear, nonsense. The reputation of my kindred is from untrustworthy sources. Like the dark elves, a victim of cruel machinations and falsehoods.
Viconia: Perhaps, wizard. Perhaps. Unlike yourself, however, I am an outcast from my people.
Edwin: Your brethren’s loss is our gain ... and a beautiful gain at that.
Viconia: Flattery will serve you no purpose, male. I will tell *you* when you may speak to me thus.
* TOB *
Edwin: I believe, Viconia, that I have gained a greater respect for your ... ah ... intensity through the course of our journeys.
Viconia: And I, Edwin, have grown no more appreciative of the sound of your voice since the day I first encountered its nasal whine.
Edwin: eh ...
Viconia: Walk away, Edwin. I am in no mood for you.
Yoshimo
Yoshimo
Edwin: Yoshimo, every man has his follies and mistakes. In your case, that is the most interesting and trustworthy ability that you possess. (You are shiftier than me, and I don’t trust myself.)
Yoshimo: Edwin, you’ve a manner that makes each of us feel beautiful and appreciated.
Edwin: Somewhere in you, something terrible gathers and grows. (Can I spot kindred, or can I spot kindred?)
Yoshimo: That’s only love, warmth, and candour for you and your red-robed ilk, Edwin.
Edwin: As you make your pilgrimage, Yoshimo, there will be ruin and cruel intention. Of this I am certain.
Yoshimo: Well, all pilgrimages must start somewhere, no? I look forward to the ruin ... will be a delightful change from your company, Red Wizard.
(While Edwin is a woman)
Yoshimo: Tell me, Edwina, would you like me to let out the seams on your robe? I’m quite handy with a needle. You do, after all, have more ... bulk ... in the upper chest area.
Edwin: Silence you fool! Chauvinist pig! (What am I saying?) I mean to say - ‘Idiot!’
Yoshimo: I was only an offer, m’lady. There is no cause for anger.
Увы, как и ранее, бэтирование в отношении подборки было проведено весьма поверхностное.
Собственно, сама подборка.Aerie
AerieAerie: Why do you talk to yourself Edwin?
Edwin: What? Oh, why, hello Aerie. I, ah... don’t do anything of the... (No, now is not the time to make arguments). Why are you asking?
Aerie: I - I was just wondering when I get to meet him.
Edwin: (There’s no one to meet). There’s no one to meet. Get away from me! You’ll make me crazy, you will, and I’ll not have two pieces of it!!
Edwin: Aerie, I’ve noticed, the unfortunate fact that you live by one of the great lessons of history that nothing is often a good thing to do and a clever thing to say.
Aerie: What? Where did that emerge from, spellbinder? What have I done to you?
Edwin: Ruffle your feathers? Just clipping your wings to make sure you remain obsequious to your vastly superiors, my little chickadee.
*after turning into Edwina*
Edwin: Psst ... Aerie ...
Aerie: Edwin! You scared me, imagine that ... oh, you wouldn’t believe me how silly you look ... Now what - now what do you want?
Edwin: You are a wizard and a healer! Can you not peel this wretched skin? (She has driven me to it, I will debase myself if I must.) Please, Aerie, I am ... on my knees!
Aerie: Tee-hee! No you’re not, you’re standing just like the rest of us! ...And, honestly, what is there to heal? Next time ... you’ll be more careful how you word your wishes, won’t you?
Edwin: Blasted Netherese sense of humor! No doubt this is why they all went extinct so long ago! Shut up! Shut up, I say!
* TOB *
Aerie: I ... I come to see why you are so arrogant, Edwin. Magical power can become ... intoxicating. Even I can admit to feeling its rush when I am casting spells in combat.
Edwin: Hhmp! You know nothing of power, child. You possess the merest morsel of worth when compared to me.
Aerie: Do you think so? Isn’t that a foolish attitude? Even you must agree that the strength of your friends can only be a benefit.
Edwin: I agree to nothing.
Aerie: Yours dismissals make no sense! Have I not become a peer? Have I not proven my worth?
Edwin: Child, your insights into my character are misguided. My ‘arrogance’ comes not from my skill, but from the knowledge that I am simply better than you.
Aerie: You are just ... oh!
Edwin: Yes, and I always will be. Now, if you require the occasional pat on the head I shall oblige, but you would do better to seek kinship with someone else.
Anomen
Anomen*after turning into Edwina*
Anomen: Hay, Edwina! I shall be your champion at the next tournament that we come to if only you give me a piece of your robe, uh, that is, dress to adorn my shield.
Edwin: (My condition draws fools like flies to honey) Silence, you idiot! You’ve a death wish that is larger than your swollen head.
Anomen: Fair Edwina, I am truly bereft by your non-acceptance. It is tragic when a knight has no fair maiden to moon over. He he he ..
Edwin: Anomen, I’ve been intending to ask. This most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart of which you belong ... why is it that you lead the converted like lambs to the slaughter? On ramparts across the Faerun are heads on pikes of the radiant who’ve been eulogized to the myth and allure of your vaunted brotherhood.
Anomen: ‘Tis very unwise to meddle in the cornerstone of civilized life in the Faerun. The brotherhood has brought peace to tumult, so that good might prevail over the darkness.
Edwin: Tell it to the pilgrims at the temple, Anomen; it might inspire the idiots. The heart has been responsible for some of the most heinous crimes against humanity. Their intolerance against those who are not of a ‘civilized’ species is racism at its worst.
Anomen: You’d best watch your tongue, spellfiddler, as your deliverance from this squalid plane may be at the point of a sword.
* TOB *
Anomen: Know that I watch you with unwavering eyes, Edwin. I have seen your looks askance and I will have none of your treachery.
Edwin: I care nothing for what you will have, fool, no matter how you guild your words. Be thankful for my scrutiny. Very few rivals outside of the Red Wizards are worthy of it.
Anomen: I am nothing like you and your ilk! Now cease your prattle and walk on!
Edwin: Yes, nothing like us at all. And certainly not growing more so every day. Hmmm ...
Cernd
CerndEdwin: Tell me about your ecstatic religion, shaman. Why do you harvest mistletoe and bear witness to mother earth’s bounty?
Cernd: It began as a craving for connection, Edwin. The Earth and her cousins, the Sky and the Water, all spoke in tongues of ancient mystery and lore. It was my calling to unravel worlds within a single seed or read the chronicles of seasons in the veins of a leaf. She called, and I answered.
*after turning into Edwina*
Cernd: Are the flowers not beautiful this time of year? Perhaps a little late in the blooming, but still ...
Edwin: What!? What are you getting at!? I know you are talking about me, so speak it plain!
Cernd: Perhaps your new form has made you more sensitive, though not in a way I call improvement. I meant nothing. It is my wont to talk of nature and gifts.
Edwin: Very well. I will let your comment pass and ...
Cernd: I mean, if I say how the great cycle fells the mighty oak, yielding to the furrows and valleys of a more subtle landscape, is it my fault if you take more offence?
Edwin: I see, I see. I shall let the slight pass and ...
Cernd: And if I say that the great stag casts aside its wondrous mantle as the long winter approaches, should it be my concern if you draw any comparisons to your ...
Edwin: Yes, yes, yes, now will you please cease your prattle!
Cernd: Poor Edwin. When nature casts aside an appendage, she is confident it will return in the proper season. My heart weeps for your insecurities. Weep, weep.
Edwin: (I wonder what his nature would say about the cleansing power of fire. I wonder.)
Edwin: Why do you stare so, Cernd? No doubt you are to laugh at my predicament, so get it over with!
Cernd: Why does the king protest? His forests are pilfered, leaving just hills and scrub, but what loss is it? How can it be of value when it was never put to use?
Edwin: (There is an insult in there somewhere, I am certain. Would that I could stop time and kill them ALL first.)
* TOB *
Edwin: Eh, so, Cernd, as a champion of the natural elements of this world, you must also have knowledge of what is ... unnatural?
Cernd: To some extent, I must. To know the enemy is to better know how to defeat them.
Edwin: Of course, of course. A man of your standing has seen much in his career; confronted many a beast, foiled many a plot ... encountered many a tome.
Cernd: Why, Edwin? Not content with the modern dischord you sow? Do you seek tutelage from the evils of old?
Edwin: My interest is purely sociable, certainly. Just banter betwin friends. Casual interest.
Cernd: Eh ...
Edwin: Have you kept records?
Cernd: Ah, no. Enough, Edwin. You hide your intent no better than your basic nature. I have no secrets for you, or anyone like you.
Edwin: (Monkeys, unworthy little monkeys ... all of them.)
Haer'Dalis
Haer'DalisEdwin: Bard, my considered and correct opinion of actors is this - you are irresponsible, irrational and incapable of adult emotion without first reducing it to some banal personal, material, or sexual credo. I can only make it my faintest hope that this definition doesn’t include you, as well.
HaerDalis’: As an actor, it is important to be able to express and convey emotion, not be emotional. As for your inastute observation, a critic is a legless man who teaches running to the fleet of foot.
Edwin: At least I don’t find it necessary to have others write my life for me or have its mundane plot plagarized from common sources.
HaerDalis’: No, but you do seem to require my validation by spouting a random insult where none was deserved. Dwell on that while we fade.
HaerDalis’: My red-cloaked sparrow-hawk, I could barely catch my sleep last night with all your arcane muttering.
Edwin: (Ah, already we have the fool convinced that you are muttering!)
HaerDalis’: Aye, I could write a play and you would be my entire cast and extras ...
*While Edwin is temporarily a woman*
HaerDaelis’: I once knew a Red Wizard of Thay
who dreamed of lichdom someday.
He said he knew how to do it
But he still managed to screw it
up in the funniest way.
Edwin: (Thank the gods he is not a better poet. This is one tale we would rather not see in immortalized print!)
*TOB*
HaerDalis’: Edwin! You continue to be the most dour of companions. I worry for your humor.
Edwin: You shall see a great improvement in my disposition when I have left this petty business behind.
HaerDalis’: Ah, great and future plans, but is not tomorrow uncertain? Could not the end of all occur just as likely today as in a millenia?
Edwin: You assume my death to be inevitable, but perhaps I think beyond those terms. Mortality seems escapable by others, so why not me?
HaerDalis’: Edwin, do you remember the name of the ancient Netheril god of the sea?
Edwin: Eh ... no.
HaerDalis’: Everything ends, Edwin. Everything dies. The dust of a god looks much the same as yours and mine will.
Edwin: For a bard, I doubt you are much fun at parties.
Imoen
Imoen*TOB*
Imoen: You look a little down, Edwin. You’re not upset, are you?
Edwin: My mood is no concern of yours, child.
Imoen: You’ve become less blustery, I think. Maybe ... maybe you’re mad everyone else is finding destinies and prophesies and generally surpassing you in every way?
Edwin: You go too far, girl! I hold none of you above me!
Imoen: I mean, even me, little frail Imoen is a big scary Child of Bhaal now! That’s got to be frustrating.
Edwin: Now that is just nonsense! All of it!
Imoen: Hey Edwin! Boo!!
Edwin: WHA! What ... is it .. NOW!
Imoen: He flinched! The big bad mage flinched! HAHA! Oooh, look I’m Bhaal, I’m big and scary, ooohh.
Edwin: Now that was just ... you are just being ...
Imoen: Oooooh, don’t worry, the big bad Imoen won’t scare you no more. Heeheeheee, ‘boo’ I says, and he jumped out of his skin ... (snicker)
Edwin: (grumble) ... whelp ... child ... monkey-brained ... how would you like your flaming death you ... grrrr ...
Jaheira
JaheiraEdwin: Tell me, Jaheira, how does it feel to have ties with a ruthless secret society whose stranglehold over its members’ conduct borders on endentured slavery.
Jaheira: Edwin, an oak staff can cave a skull from only inches away.
Edwin: Overflowing with agendas and cloaked in conspiracy. The Harper corridors clot with the blood of those who dared raise opposition to their oppressive regime. But I will speak no more out of respect for your ... what was it again? Ah, yes, your little stick.
(While Edwin is a woman)
Jaheira: What is the matter, Edwin? You look as though you chafe within your very skin. Oh wait. That is because you ARE chafing within your very skin. How thoughtless of me to remind you.
Edwin: I will not suffer your taunts, woman! You know well I despise this form!
Jaheira: That I do, pretty, pretty Edwin. That I do.
(While he’s still a woman)
Jaheira: There is harmony in nature, and all things are balanced in the end. Perhaps, Edwin, you are now as you should be.
Edwin: And you would suggest this based upon what?! As a CONSTANTLY pontificating servant of nature you must know my transformation was unnatural!
Jaheira: Perhaps, though you never did strike me as particularly manly. Perhaps nature has just been slow in this regard.
Edwin: I see. So, by your logic you shall be changing into a large male wildebeast any day now? Or have I misunderstood?
Jaheira: Save your amateurish insults for one who will be offended. Your opinions mean nothing to me.
Jaheira: Stand away from me, Edwin. It would be unfortunate if you were to disappear under a rock somewhere. Though that might be more akin to your natural state.
Edwin: Aye, you can mock me whist we are in the very heart of your domain, druid, but do not push me very far. Even here I am more than capable of ending your life.
Jaheira: Perhaps, though I doubt you would find the trip back to the cities a peaceful one.
Edwin: Without your nagging it would be as the sleep of ages.
Keldorn
KeldornEdwin: So Keldorn, as the disciple of a crooked deity, do you find solace in the same secret histories, books of lies and subversions that the rest of the miserable sheep in your horde do?
Keldorn: Wizard, you’ve only a brief respite before I put your head in a bag and your body in the ground!
Edwin: Let cooler heads prevail, Keldorn, I was only baiting hooks.
Keldorn: Judgement will be swift and pure upon thee, Edwin. Your manner says that the cruel are weak, and that kindness is to be expected only from the strong and just.
Edwin: Whatever lets you sleep, paladin. (I’ll dine on your eyes, cloistered coward ... soon.)
Edwin: Back away, ye obsequious fool.
Keldorn: What is the concern, wizard? I have done nothing to aggravate you.
Edwin: I shall not wait for you to stab me with your righteous daggers, knight! I have no wish to suffer your poison! (Insolent and dirty, insolent and dirty.)
Keldorn: Whatever poison there be here is in your head, Edwin! By the gods I should club you to put you out of your misery!
Edwin: I’ll show ye some misery, knight!
Korgan
KorganEdwin: So tell me, Korgan, what do you think of character and adversity? It seems to me that this party is long on squawk and short on character.
Korgan: The harder yer conflict, the more glorious be yer triumph, I reckon, spellchucker. What ye obtain too cheaply, ye esteem too lightly.
Edwin: How true, how true. As a gallant warrior-born, I correctly assumed you to be a student of warfare and a master of battle.
Korgan: Aye. The best battler is he who can smile in troubles deep, gather his strength from distress and grow brave in reflection.
Edwin: Dwarf, you speak the truth. A warrior without peer, like you, must be an affront to nature. The strongest in the most peril ... strange how Fate weaves her tapestry.
Korgan: Survival of the fittest be the term, and that be the puzzle of Life. The life of adventurers. Now shut yer yap.
Korgan: Ye know, Bag of Tricks, ye and I are nay so different. Ye fetch awe with eye of newt and tongue of salamander. I with battleaxe and bloodlust.
Edwin: A rather bold conjecture don’t you think, Korgan?
Korgan: Nay, not so bold. The rest of these backpeddlers ‘aven’t a clue. Ye and I, we know the longlimb’s capacity fer the horrible and the severe, eh friend? We know.
Edwin: You’re an odd little fellow, Korgan. I’m not sure what to make of you and your chagrins.
*TOB*
Korgan: It’s been a grand fight, eh mage? Can you better cap a life betwin the toes and the flames of hell itself! Ha!
Edwin: Would someone get this bile-soaked freak away from me?
Korgan: What? No stomach for the cleavings of me axe?
Edwin: I do not fault the need for frontline offense, but I fail to see why you find it necessary to stink a blade to your elbows.
Korgan: Bah! Mages! Ye’ll blast away from yer mothers’ windows but catch yer scatter-willys at the thought of blood. It’s called follow-through! Feh!
Mazzy
MazzyEdwin: Mazzy, your beauty and exuberance are a sheer delightful waste. I enjoy you in your own right. For someone so short, you are quite a delightfully comely lass.
Nalia: Damning me with faint praise, Edwin? I’m flattered that the man who taught Elminster magic and Drizzt how to fight would stoop so low as to notice little old me.
Edwin: I do stoop to conquer, and lay down to indulge. My bedroll always has extra room, Mazzy. Too much of a decadent thing is wonderful.
Mazzy: And so it shall always be vacant, wizard. When science finally locates the center of the planes, I’m sure you’ll be taken aback to find that you’re not it.
Mazzy: Listen carefully, mage. I have noticed you launch your spells in battle without first making sure one of us is not in the way. If you hurt anyone, I will kill you. Is that clear enough?
Edwin: (No doubt my kneecaps are in some danger). Halfling, here you stand still living thanks to the use of my magic. Question me not.
Mazzy: I shall never need that kind of assistance in a battle. You threaten us as much as our enemies with your carelessness. Your recklessness will not be tolerated. You have been warned, Edwin. Do not think to test my resolve, I will act for the good of the group.
Edwin: Quite a mouthful for one of a servant race. I understand your warning and take it for what it’s worth. Begone!
Minsc
Minsc(While Edwin is a woman)
Minsc: Boo does not understand. It is not as though the scoundrel will be missed, but where has Edwin gone and who is this woman who wears his clothes?
Edwin: I will not be scrutinized for the sake of your rodent! Mind your own concerns, you stone-headed oaf!
Minsc: Such a temperament! Fire in her belly and not afraid to spit in the eye! It reminds me of the fighting women of my homeland! Ah sweet lady, you bring me tears.
Edwin: Tears indeed! Stand away lest I bring you a fireball as well! (Such suffering I must endure! The pain behind my eyes does grow steadily!)
(Still a woman)
Edwin: What!? Why do you stare at me so, barbarian!?
Minsc: You bear handsome features, though they are familiar, too. Edwin’s sister perhaps? Aye, Boo sees the resemblance? You are his superior in your manner though.
Edwin: I AM Edwin you fool! Can you not comprehend this!?
Minsc: I don’t do well with the philosophical. You are Edwin? Ah, like Minsc is Boo and Boo is Minsc because we carry each other within. Do you like hamsters? Boo likes you.
Edwin: If you do not wish to be the proud owner of a very small rug you will get that hamster away from me.
Minsc: I see more and more of Edwin in your tone, though you are still better than he. Boo will forgive you, for now.
Edwin: (I will kill ALL of them. Slowly. With ... with HOT pokey things and ... and coals and ... and prods. Yessss, prods. Many, many prods.)
Minsc: I think she warms to our company, Boo. See how she looks longingly?
Edwin: The price of flesh is obsession, Minsc. I’ve been obsessed, smitten, bewitched and taken by many things, but the only rodent in my pants doesn’t squeak when I touch it.
Minsc: Your words are strange. Stranger still are the thoughts behind them. Stand back. Boo has expressed a dislike for your company, and I can’t say I am surprised.
Edwin: The rodent speaks to you? Verily I’ve a rat in my trousers that speaks a particular dialect as well, usually involving transactions of coin and copious volumes of wine. You are truly a gift of the ages, Minsc.
Minsc: Your words baffle, though I am certain some insult has taken place. Keep your distance from this one, Boo, he is definitely unstable.
Edwin: Is the hamster speaking to you know, Minsc? Are his thoughts entertaining?
Minsc: I am quite used to people mocking Boo. It no longer bothers either of us. Laugh if you will, but Minsc hears what you cannot.
Edwin: You wield a formidable blade indeed, warrior. Tell me, Minsc, what is the opposite of a lesson?
Minsc: Opposite of lesson ... less one ... more on! The opposite of less on is more on! More on? Do you dare to insults me again?
Edwin: Minsc, what breed of rat is Boo? A sea faring wharf rat? The fruit-eating country vole? The sewer-dwelling city weasel?
Minsc: The Red Wizard risks great harm. Boo is patient, but this grows tiring. Keep pressuring and may not just go for the eyes!
Edwin: You threaten with your vaunted combat prowess? The same esteemed skill that failed miserably to protect Dynaheir from harm’s clutches?
Minsc: You pick at old wounds, wizard! Continue to pick and I shall make you some fresh ones!
Edwin: She was a timeworn and weatherbeaten barwhore, Minsc. The lowest class of spent working girl rubbish.
Minsc: You are one step away from wearing your lips as a collar, wizard! Withdraw your foolish words!
Edwin: Not likely, cretin. I observe, not change, the nature of people or their beasts.
Minsc: Then you shall pay the price for your ‘observations’! Those that speak ill of the dead shall join them! May you spend eternity with Dynaheir’s foot in your loins!
Nalia
NaliaEdwin: Nalia, you are aware that adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which otherwise would have lain dormant? What are yours, pampered one? Those talents lay abundantly inconspicuous ...
Nalia: Edwin, I was not pampered, cajoled, or spoiled! I wanted for little, but yearned for than wandering about estates. Is it not true that you are of noble birthright yourself? Calling the kettle Red, Wizard? But that sort of comment coming from is not any surprise, he would rather live on his knees than die on his feet.
Edwin: Ha ha ha ... I see the soft spitfire has a streak of wild child running through her. Keep living in your sanctified ignorance, Nalia, it is part of your charm.
Nalia: Nothing is more dangerous in this world to me, Edwin, than your stupidity.
(While Edwin is a woman)
Nalia: An interesting little situation you have found yourself in, Edwin. I trust you will use it to better learn how others think and feel?
Edwin: No, my dear little wench, I will spend no more time in this body than I must. You think me a fool?
Nalia: But you could do so much more. How can you throw away this opportunity to walk a mile in another’s shoes? I would love such an ...
Edwin: Would you now? I would wish it on you if I could, but you do not mean what you say. You could do as such now, but you do not. Shed your wealth and harvest the fields. You walk no more in the shoes of those you pity than I would, and I pity everyone. The only shoes I wish are my own!
Nalia: But I just thought ...
Edwin: You thought I would desire to know the thoughts of others, but you were wrong. I have no such desire. Whatever the rest you think is irrelevant. My own thoughts, my own shoes, my own BODY! These are all that matter!
(While Edwin is still a woman)
Nalia: Edwin, you should learn to walk a little more dignified; carry yourself in a better manner.
Edwin: And exactly WHAT is wrong with my ‘manner’?
Nalia: You, well ... the way you walk about some might think you were ... of little moral fiber. You should present a more wholesome image if you are to remain like this.
Edwin: I will not remain like this! I will not ‘present a more wholesome image’, nor will I acknowledge this form in any way! I will not be this way for long!
Nalia: Very well then, but if we get too close to the docks you might find the less upstanding members of society getting more ... familiar than you would like. As well, I would suggest that you treat the party with civility, lest someone arrange for such an occurrence to happen. Perhaps nearer the zoo.
Edwin: (When the time comes, I must kill her first. Slowly, but first.)
Sarevok
Sarevok*TOB*
Sarevok: What is it, mage? You spare no opportunity to examine me and I would know why.
Edwin: I do not like walking with the enemy. I can barely stand keeping my allies so close, and yet here I am consorting with you.
Sarevok: Ah, so you are the great loner, ready to assault the world on your own. Foolish.
Edwin: Is it? You were no more content as a lowly member of the team than I.
Sarevok: I rose to power by choosing who I followed carefully and surrounding myself with beings of power. My tactic has not changed, and will be fruitful in the end.
Edwin: Well, I suppose I should be grateful for being included. I look forward to being a part of your next defeat.
Sarevok: You remind me of a younger me, mage, before I was slaughtered and sent to the pits of hell. Think on that before you burn your bridges.
Valygar
ValygarEdwin: Valygar, you are aware that silence is the virtue of fools.
Valygar: Aim your words elsewhere, mage; I don’t know why you’ve targeted me, but I won’t take your bait today.
Edwin: As blushing may sometimes make a harlot seem a virtuous woman, so might refusal make an idiot seem a man of sense.
Valygar: It is as I have always thought; I can neither appreciate nor understand the mind of a mage, especially one so fond of his own voice.
Edwin: Your ignorance seems voluntary, woodwalker. Conversation is not the only vehicle of thought, it is a tremendous and efficient instrument in thinking.
Valygar: Then what’s your excuse for the steady stream of mindless pollution you call talking, Edwin?
Valygar: You remind me more and more as each day passes of what makes magic vile and evil, wizard.
Edwin: You would do well to be reminded of what makes magic powerful, fool. I’ve power enough to hold your life in my hands if I choose.
Valygar: Your words do not frighten me, Edwin. I could slice you to ribbons before the first incantation of your threat was carried out.
Edwin: Indeed? Your lack of fear for the arcane arts must explain, then, why you cowered before Lavok and the Cowled Wizards.
Valgyar: I cower before nothing! I merely showed caution before approaching Lavok ... someone possessing far more power than you!
Edwin: You call that caution? Quivering in a forest? Lavok could have dealt with you in a second, if he chose. And it would only take me a second longer.
Valygar: We shall see!
*TOB*
Valygar: What is that in your gaze, Edwin? You have something to say?
Edwin: It is nothing. I was just musing on the role of heritage in determining vocation.
Valygar: I see. It is your assumption that since my family tree has had many mages, I should have been one as well. Well, I defy that logic each and every day.
Edwin: And you certainly make a fine whatever-you-are, but it is a shame. Even your casual movements suggest some training as a child ...
Valygar: I am no mage! You ... you are mistaken in your observations.
Edwin: Yes. Yes, of course I am.
Viconia
ViconiaViconia: Dark alleyways whisper rumors of the prowess of Thayvian men, Edwin. Would this kind of vulgar tongue-wagging be claptrap or truth.
Edwin: This Thayvian male is as red-blooded as his cloak, Viconia. And has left many a concubine gasping under my erotic onslaught.
Edwin: I’ve been spying you from afar, Viconia, and your frankness, bearing, and grace have beguiled me quite profoundly.
Viconia: I’m certain there is a condition to your appraisal, Edwin. A Thayvian only has one person in their world: themselves.
Edwin: Hush, dear, nonsense. The reputation of my kindred is from untrustworthy sources. Like the dark elves, a victim of cruel machinations and falsehoods.
Viconia: Perhaps, wizard. Perhaps. Unlike yourself, however, I am an outcast from my people.
Edwin: Your brethren’s loss is our gain ... and a beautiful gain at that.
Viconia: Flattery will serve you no purpose, male. I will tell *you* when you may speak to me thus.
* TOB *
Edwin: I believe, Viconia, that I have gained a greater respect for your ... ah ... intensity through the course of our journeys.
Viconia: And I, Edwin, have grown no more appreciative of the sound of your voice since the day I first encountered its nasal whine.
Edwin: eh ...
Viconia: Walk away, Edwin. I am in no mood for you.
Yoshimo
YoshimoEdwin: Yoshimo, every man has his follies and mistakes. In your case, that is the most interesting and trustworthy ability that you possess. (You are shiftier than me, and I don’t trust myself.)
Yoshimo: Edwin, you’ve a manner that makes each of us feel beautiful and appreciated.
Edwin: Somewhere in you, something terrible gathers and grows. (Can I spot kindred, or can I spot kindred?)
Yoshimo: That’s only love, warmth, and candour for you and your red-robed ilk, Edwin.
Edwin: As you make your pilgrimage, Yoshimo, there will be ruin and cruel intention. Of this I am certain.
Yoshimo: Well, all pilgrimages must start somewhere, no? I look forward to the ruin ... will be a delightful change from your company, Red Wizard.
(While Edwin is a woman)
Yoshimo: Tell me, Edwina, would you like me to let out the seams on your robe? I’m quite handy with a needle. You do, after all, have more ... bulk ... in the upper chest area.
Edwin: Silence you fool! Chauvinist pig! (What am I saying?) I mean to say - ‘Idiot!’
Yoshimo: I was only an offer, m’lady. There is no cause for anger.
@темы: Цитаты, Бредогенератор, Baldur's Gate, we are all doomed, Шпиллево
